Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
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He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
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I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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