i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
