I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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