that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
So. Much. Porn.
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