go do what you do best...puke behind churches
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
