Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
whose parrot is this?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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