I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize