just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
whose parrot is this?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
