Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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