i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize