I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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