Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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