my sisters under your porch take her home
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Randomize
