this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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