She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
handjob tips. give me some.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize