So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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