think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
