Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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