32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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