your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
