Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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