in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
