Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
