Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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