I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
