Buhtt sex?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I want to fling myself into the sun
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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