I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
