he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Randomize
