So drunk its hurt
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
