what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
