normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
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