Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
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Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
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I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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