so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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