If i come over, it means nothing
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
