What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
