Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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