theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
she smelled like a LAN party
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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