He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
