I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
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