doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
