So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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