ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
