Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
