I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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