Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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