Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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