are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
