Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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