Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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