Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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