Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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