Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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