Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
