I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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