and you said cock pushups were impossible
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize