I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize