Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
