mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
