what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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