I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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