we're chasing vodka with high fives
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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