Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
